Hi, I’m that privileged white girl who never voted…
Beer in hand, I settle into our rust colored couch & change the tv from Gilmore Girls re-runs to the 2020 Presidential Election. Little did I know that four hours later, when I got up from that old, squishy couch; I would have a whole new perspective on privilege.
I am privileged, I know that. Or at least I thought I did.
I am white.
I cry while watching shows like Grey’s Anatomy and This Is Us when someone is unjustly treated due to the color of their skin; but I have never seen it in person. I have never had a parent sit me down to teach me how to act if I am pulled over, or stopped by law enforcement. I was simply told to keep my registration in the glove box; my parents never had to worry about me saying the wrong thing, much less having my hands in the wrong place. I joke about being a “basic white girl” when I order a complicated Starbucks drink. When working at a restaurant, I laugh with the Hispanic kitchen staff about being a “gringa” and we all make fun of my terrible Spanish. I have never had to prove my citizenship, or right to be in America. Any documentation I show is automatically given the benefit of the doubt when passing through the border between Mexico and California. I have never been quickly glanced over & deemed dangerous or unworthy based on the color of my skin.
I am privileged, I know that. Or at least I thought I did.
I have never been without the bare essentials.
I was taught to help those less fortunate by delivering food to the homeless, filling shoeboxes with Christmas presents, and going on mission trips to Mexico to build shelter for those in need. I have never gone to bed worrying about when or where or what my next meal will be. I have had access to support and resources, simply because I have a smart phone. The only times I have had the electricity turned off were when I forgot to pay the bill and once because I forgot to schedule a transfer when moving. I can distract myself from bad days and hard times with my Netflix subscription and high speed internet. I may have lived paycheck to paycheck, I may have borrowed a few hundred dollars to make rent; but I have always had food, electricity, running water and access to Gossip Girl re-runs (as long as I sign up for autopay on my utility bills).
I am privileged, I know that. Or at least I thought I did.
I am a girl who likes boys.
I have never had to walk past a person with a megaphone and poster condemning me to hell for who I love. I have been able to kiss whatever boy I like in public; except maybe Ryan Gosling (but I can still hope). I have been able to share photos of my latest bf on social media and never had a second thought on if someone would disapprove. I watch movies about boys and girls coming out & am relieved that I have never had to do that. I can get married in any state I want, in any establishment; no one can take that away from me.
I have a sister who likes girls. I go to gay bars with her and her fiancé. I pride myself on changing my Apple watch to rainbow stripes in June, buying rainbow bottles of champagne, showing support for her with rainbow socks, getting excited for Pride month & sharing posts on social media about inclusivity. I get to participate in the fun, brightly colored, sparkly side of the LGBTQ /pride celebrations. And I have the privilege of never having seen or heard the discrimination that they have experienced simply by holding hands in the wrong place.
“I am not going to cast an uneducated vote, so I just won’t vote.”
Most of my life I have hidden behind the statement above, because I have never had to cast a ballot. No matter the outcome of each election; I will still check the White/Caucasian box, I will still have more than the bare essentials to survive, I will still be able to love whatever boy I swipe right on. Nothing can take those things away from me; not a pandemic, not loss of employment, not a revised law and definitely not an election.
So I had never voted, until yesterday.
I am so damn privileged that up until 2020, I had the luxury of not voting; because my life, my liberty and my pursuit of happiness did not depend on my vote.
I was wrong. I thought that privilege meant I had an easy life. I thought privilege meant I didn’t have to live a life in fear. I thought privilege meant I was lucky to be a white heterosexual woman living in the United States of America. Privilege isn’t just the color of your skin, the quality of life you have, or even the freedom to love whomever you want.
Real privilege is having choices, the choice to live however you want, the choice to treat others with love and even the choice to vote or not.
Tonight as I looked at my sister while she watched the polls close and votes get tallied, I saw through the eyes of someone who didn’t have a choice. So I ate another salted peanut butter brownie, tried to find a good filter to post my first ever “I voted” selfie & made a promise to myself.
A promise that I will never again take my privilege to choose for granted again.
